sumpah rase nak matiii!!!!!!!!!

sensitive giler aku...aku ngah sedeyh, frust?? maybe , tapi most probably..tak!
aku hidup berlandaskan kenangan2 aku semasa form 3.
recently, i spent all nite, crying bout the previous memories...that was such great memories in my life..
cite nye, mule begini...

Aku pindak ke BTP, dgn rase reluctant gler!! a mana tak nyer, aku da kenal lama ngn kwn2 aku..sejak skolah rendah, dan start secondary kitorng dah rapat..! our relatuonship was began with chemistry...n go on by physics. so, pd ary nak pndah, kat skolah kosas, kwn2 aku buat party for me, that was so special. they are, fatin, nadia, intan, kenbar,fana, n ade agy...
gang, korang pon taw kan, aku nyh, jenis yg sensitive. so, menda2 mcm nyh, aku memang ingt, and the big present yg korang bg aku tu pun, it was really great! but, ape hadiah tuh?? reader tak taw! huhuh, nad, intan! secret taw :P
PArt sedey, urm..aku pon nangis la ngn mereka...n aku tak sanggup sgt nak tglkan kosas. Aku smpai bndar tasek puteri (BTP), waktu tuh da mlm, boleh bau agy cat dan perabot dlm bilik aku. even, aku dpt perabot baru, bilik agak bsr dr previous rumh, aku ttp menangis mlm tuh, smapi membuatkan aku tak mau tidur, becuz aku takot hari esok!!
Esok, dgn mate yg benggak, air mate aku tak gak berhenti. Sebab ary pertama kat skola baru, mak aku iron bj, aku tak semgt nak g skolah, mandi pon...hurm aku NANGIS gak (terok tak??) then, tgk cermin, pakai tudung...dengn tak semena-menanya aku menangis b4 g skolah BTP. Smapai skolah btp, waahh!!!!! Skolah tuh, physically, was perfect! beautiful! tu aku mampu katekan skunk, but kalo mse tuh,,, haty aku hanye menyunpah nyumpah skolah tuh, n betapa sakitnya haty aku sbb pindah kat situ. G kat office, daftar n check sume sijil, aku ditempatkan di kelas 3S. Dengan berat hati, aku berjalan mengikut guru tuh.
to be continued..........

now, i know that i am living in my life

dah lame tak type blog...n aku bkn nyer jenis yg pandai menulis kata2...
tak smapi 17 tahun aku hidup di muka bumi ini...tapi, aku dah bnyk belajar ttg kehidupan..
aku belajar ttg didi aku sendiri..dan diri org lain...
and i have realised, that we are all same! kita sume same, kita manusia..
same2 keturunan nabi adam...
hurm...aku tak taw ape yg aku type..tp, sumtimes i almost forget yg kita hidup berlandaskan agama..mati itu pasti dan hidup itu insyaALLAH
cuz we are all MORTAL!

aku sedar, aku jenis yg tak berpendirian tegas, an unorganise person..and tah lah....
aku byk belajar dr ape yg terjadi...
fine, cm ny lah, ape yg aku phm...fikiran antara manusia dgn manusia yg lain amat berbeza and definetly not same!
dunia tak akn hidup, kalo sume pemikiran manusia same, tol tak??
well, masing2 berhak nak wat ape keputusan, yg penting ianya tak memudartkan...
masing2 berhak menyayangi, mengasihi, membenci atau...mcm2 lagy.....
to be continued...

just a part-time worker

i woke up early unlike usuall. i went out, for an audition. there's nothing to tell u how's it going, unless it's very sucks, haha. however, i think that i have tried my best. the point is, i am confuse whether to invove in the industry or not. i want to! the only i worry about how can i arrange my schedule between study and my part-time job.

i really want it, the most enjoyable moment in my life while i am still studying. i never assume acting as my future career, as i said that's only my part-time job. FULL STOP

~confusing

plan on holiday

i told u tat i have not studied at all for my final examination, haha. i become such a pemalas person tiz year year. when the exam jus started, i dunno wat should i write, and jus answer anythinh according to wat i am thinking about, haha.well, i jus scare if teacher ask me me or scare at me, shit! tat's make me feel bad sumtime, but nasi da jd bubur. terok betol i!

well, tak sabar betol nak abes exam, hehe. i have planned many things to do! straight after exam, i wanna work, as a part time crew, hehe. them da dapat, i am going to arrange my schedule. study, it must la, haha. then, i nak renovate bilik, and if malas, amek je le bilik lame, master-room size :P then, i want to go for shopping, and ask my kakak to pay for me, hahha.

i have not studied yet!

i used to afraid about examination. but today, i feel very damn calm, ahha. i have not studied at all!! this situation very comman while i was in form 1 n 2, the couple years b4 pmr. so, i plan tat i will study giler2 next year la. hhaaha, very crazy!

i woke up late+ blogging + chatting + calling my fwens + crazying =p

before raya~

there's nothing i have to worry about raya, such as cookies, rendang, all sorts of foods, clothes or whatever lah. i don't have any feeling for raya at all.. i spend my time on thinking about my exam that will start straight after holidays! shit, i hate that..
honestly, i haven't studied at all yet, and at the beginning of tiz year i juz focusing on the certain subject. hahha, there are bio (of course!!) sej and add math..but those subjects juz until the second chapter, i guess =p hahah!

but today, my sister is coming! if as she will not come, i think tat i could not celebrate raya, jus celebrate in silently... but, thank god lorh! now, my brain contains with a lot of NOTHING!
wat i am gonna do for my exam! huh, i am so sorry, cuz i should not tell you about my personal probs! i'd risk myself... okay fine, there's juz my confessions, full stop!

hate my school!

i really2 hate my school! i hate the environment, surrounding ......
fuhh! it makes me feel afraid all the time, makes me nervous, makes me feel the sense of kebijaksanaan students there. it is just like sumthing really2 membebankan hidop i!! yeah, tis is because kat sane peraturan ketat nk mampos, keje sekolah berlambak.....
aduh..i don't know why, but i always feel afraid!!..

but the truth is, mmg i rase takot sedey being there..
the most good time to me is when the school hours is ended already! yeah, i dont't care how far my school is from my house, but the environment there makes me feel AFRAID+SAD...

but, i have to think positive! this is the time to change the mindset of mine. i should bersyukur sebenanye dapat masok skolah tuhh. even though there's a lot of assigment, homework, but all of that are my fault.

i really want to be independent!
the innocent one,
anna~