Saturday, October 15, 2011

Scars never lied.

It has been almost 1 year your are my so-called ex boyfriend. I can still recall our memories, our sadness and happiness together at that time. How great our relationship was being, as we spent our time together almost every time.
          On the first dating in KLCC, you said in front of my face that you are falling in love with me. I was damn speechless, anxious and I can't even control myself. Nothing I could say, unless I said ''Thank you''. We continued with our lunch, but you didn't know how happy I was.
          After a week past, we just be a friend and one night you asked me whether I fall for you or not. Deep from my heart, I love you so much, I couldn't afford to say those three words as I was afraid if I fail to make you happy. Sorry, I won't make you hurt. I failed to express my feeling, I just can say that I am fully like you as my friend till forever. You cried on the phone, you wanted to meet me but I refused you to do that. I said, I love you,and I hope that you can accept me for who am I.
          The other day, you took my hands, and proposed me to be your girlfriend.  I was really shy and insecure with you. I asked you to give me time. You were waiting for the answer. Without regret, I was yours. :)
          Nostalgically, when I got back from my part-time work, you sacrificed your time by picking me up and treated me to dinner. I can still remember, you always asked me ''Da mkn ke blum?" If I said, yeah, you asked back what I have eaten, of course just the pastry from starbucks. "Tak mkn nasi? Tak kira, dinner ni you have to eat nasi jugak''. How caring you were. I wanna cry cuz felt happy having you at that time.
          I never thought of losing you. You ever said about your future as you said about our marrige thingy. You seemed very serious about our relationship. It was just me, who can't even sacrifice anything for you. I still remember our great memories. We always went to cinema and watched all types of movies together. Love movies, actions movies and so on. There's a time I hate the movie that you really obsess. I forced you to get out from the cinema, you asked why. I lied to you. I said I was not felt good and I have to go back home early. It was hard to get a taxi, we had fight. But, you said sorry to me, which you were not deserved to do that. It was my fault. I am sorry...
          One day, we had had accident, I was really regret for what happened to us. I was clueless, I was lost. I never faced accident in my whole lives. Unfortunately, we have faced the worst incident together. The scars is the proof. The scars on my left hand's elbow never lied. After the incident happend, I always asked you to seek cure to vanish my ugly scar. I can't accept the flaw. You sacrificed your money, your time to buy the oil for removing my scar. It didn't work. I asked for the oil which the price higher than the previous one, till now.... it don't make any effort. How can I remove the flaw?
          When I move far away from you, you can't accept at all. You cried, you asked me any alternative things that made me stay. Nothing, I still with my decision and I left you alone. We still as a special partner. We are connected everyday and you sacrificed you money to top up your prepaid to stay on the phone every single night. You even told a scary and terrific story that happened near to my place which I stayed. I know the reason that you really wanted me to get back. I still refused. I ever cried to you, and you cried too. We have been through a relationship in a far distance. I can't stand anymore. I have no guts, I asked for clash. As I though that I can find other better guy, I have forgotten all your efforts for me, all your love towards me. I asked to break up. I made your heart hurt at all.
          I am sorry for what I have done. Tapi, I ada reason kenapa kita clash, you ever made me hurt, and there's a girl talked bad about you, and at last, you said ''those three words'' to other girl,in facebook. Probably, this is the price that I have to pay as I made you hurt, maybe...

But, honestly, I do think of you sometimes. The scars make me think about you. The scars never lied.

There's a reason for what had happened.


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